"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
07/02/2015 at 12:46 • Filed to: None
4
10|
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
07/02/2015 at 12:46 • Filed to: None | 4
| 10 |
I’m looking for a new job. One of the reasons is because several of the people I work are terrible. But today is someone who I actually like’s last day, and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , bless her heart, suggested that I offer to get lunch for everyone in honor of this dude’s last day. Good idea!
Because I dislike several of the people who I am buying lunch for using my expense account because I don’t actually want to pay for this, I felt compelled to send out a suitably snarky email to everyone:
As we all know, today is Ted’s last day and Ted also likes to eat. A lot. As long as he doesn’t have to actually make something for a potluck and can get away with bringing in taco dip from the grocery store.
Well Ted, in honor of your last day, you don’t have to bring any taco dip. You just have to pick what sub you want from Capriotti’s. Everyone send me your order and I’ll call it in once (people who work 12-9) arrive and have had their chance to pick something. Here’s the menu:
http://capriottis.com/madison-wi-reg…
Sizes are:
Small = 9”
Medium = 12”
Large = 20”
Ted, I’m sure we’ll all be disappointed in you if you order anything other than a large.
I’ve already had two different people come and ask me if they have to pay or if I’m expensing this.
Enjoy your fucking sandwiches, you pricks!
UPDATE, WITH DISCLAIMER FOR THE HUMORLESS:
I can see how out of context, “HAHAHA you eat a lot” looks dickish. Ted is a super in-shape guy who works out all the time and quite amusingly eats in large quantities. He often makes fun of the amount of food he eats. He’s in on the joke. I wouldn’t go there if the topic wasn’t already established as fair game by him.
Jayhawk Jake
> Textured Soy Protein
07/02/2015 at 13:28 |
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Wow, you seem like an asshole
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Textured Soy Protein
> Jayhawk Jake
07/02/2015 at 13:34 |
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1. Why yes, yes I am.
2. Even my admin who came up with the idea appreciated the humor in the email. Congratulations, you have less of a sense of humor than a 60 year-old lady who doesn’t carve pumpkins for Halloween unless they have crucifixes on them !
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Jayhawk Jake
> Textured Soy Protein
07/02/2015 at 14:03 |
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As if I expected anything less than a dickish reply...
Humor is one thing. Poking fun at someone while simultaneously pointing out how much you dislike everyone involved is a bit of a dick move. That's just how I see it.
Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed
> Textured Soy Protein
07/02/2015 at 14:05 |
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Ha. Burning bridges like a boss.
This is me at Capriotti’s, “I’ll take Medium Bobbies no mayo. I SWEAR ON ME MUM IF YOU PUT MAYO ON IT ILL BASH YOUR FOOKIN EAD!!!!!!!.”
garagemonkee
> Textured Soy Protein
07/02/2015 at 14:08 |
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That’s not humor or snark. 0/10
Xyl0c41n3
> Jayhawk Jake
07/02/2015 at 14:16 |
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Pot, meet kettle.
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Jayhawk Jake
> Xyl0c41n3
07/02/2015 at 14:23 |
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Based on what?
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Textured Soy Protein
> Jayhawk Jake
07/02/2015 at 15:17 |
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When calling someone an asshole, do you generally expect a nice courteous “why thank you for calling me an asshole, you’ve really enlightened me, thanks for that” in reply?
I can see how out of context, “HAHAHA you eat a lot” looks dickish.
Ted is a super in-shape guy who works out all the time and quite amusingly eats in large quantities. He often makes fun of the amount of food he eats. He’s in on the joke.
I wouldn’t go there if the topic wasn’t already established as fair game by him.
WhyWagonIfNotWagonFast
> Textured Soy Protein
07/02/2015 at 16:35 |
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I personally cannot think of a better way to show your superior management skills than posting evidence of your ridiculing your employees to the internet.
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Textured Soy Protein
> WhyWagonIfNotWagonFast
07/02/2015 at 17:21 |
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I can see how out of context, “HAHAHA you eat a lot” looks like I’m ridiculing him.
Ted is a super in-shape guy who works out all the time and quite amusingly eats in large quantities. He often makes fun of the amount of food he eats. He’s in on the joke.
I wouldn’t go there if the topic wasn’t already established as fair game by him.